A federal judge today approved the antitrust settlement between Paramount and the twelve state attorneys general who sued to block its $110 billion merger with Warner Bros. Discovery, clearing the last hurdle for the deal to close next week, according to Deadline. Judge Araceli Martínez-Olguín called the consent decree "a reasonable factual and legal resolution," writing that the compromise "may leave some dissatisfaction for both sides and the public."
A consent decree is what a settlement looks like after the lawyers have had lunch. Twelve states sued to kill the deal, and now the lead attorney general, Rob Bonta, who presented the settlement with little enthusiasm and called it "not a blessing", says he is "pleased." The public, per the judge's own words, is the dissatisfied party. The public's lawyers were not in the room.
The fine print is the joke. No structural breakup, just five years of promises: a minimum number of theatrical releases, an oversight board for CNN and CBS, separate cable negotiations. The remedy for the biggest media merger in a generation is a promise to keep making some movies.
The ticking fee is the real plot. If the deal does not close by Oct. 1, Paramount starts paying WBD shareholders about $7 million a day. That is a timer, and a timer is why everything is fast now. "About two weeks to formally combine the companies." Nobody in Hollywood talks fast for fun. And before the day was out, Paramount named former Mattel chief Ynon Kreiz co-CEO. The board seats were filled before the ink dried. That is what a done deal looks like when it is still "pending."
The nickname is already out there. Deadline is calling the combined studio "ParaBros." The fans did the rebrand in the first hour, which is the whole story of the modern studio. The product gets decided in court, and the brand gets decided in the comments.
YOUR TURN: Is a consent decree a settlement, or the longest press release a judge has ever approved?
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