According to Entertainment Weekly, after Michael Douglas made fun of Cher's 1988 "Moonstruck" Oscar win on "The Graham Norton Show," the complete response from Cher's camp arrived by representative: "Cher adores Michael Douglas."
The setup, for anyone who missed October 30: Douglas and Glenn Close on The Graham Norton Show, 38 years after the 1988 race. Norton asks if the win was for "Moonstruck." Douglas: "Oh wow. I know, that's what we all said." Close: "Michael, be kind!" It is the same joke he has told any microphone that will hold still for 38 years.
And the answer to the man who beat the woman in the room is five words from a rep's email. No Cher. No "actually." No "it was a fine performance, Michael." "Cher adores Michael Douglas." That is the entire press release. Thirty-eight years of grudge met by an interoffice memo.
The genius is that it cannot be rebutted. You cannot argue with "adores." The joke is about a vote in 1988 and the response is a present-tense emotional state, and the two never meet. The rep's email is a fog bank, and behind it stands an 80-year-old who will outlive every joke in this story. Meanwhile Close is set to collect an Honorary Oscar on November 15, joking that the board "doesn't want to feel guilty anymore." The Academy's 38-year apology tour just picked up speed.
YOUR TURN: Is a five-word rep email a response, or a non-response with extra steps?
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