Heidi Klum opened her 25th annual Halloween Party on Oct. 31 dressed as a hyper-realistic severed human hand, a prosthetic replica of her own left hand down to the green-stone wedding ring and the finger tattoo that reads "Tom." Per E! News, it took six hours to load into, and her team had spent months building the thing.
Twenty-five years. At some point the party stopped being a Halloween costume contest and became a venue, which is why it is now "presented by" a vodka brand and a candy bar. That is the whole machine in one sentence: the annual celebrity event got so good that sponsors now get to put their logos on the blue wall while the celebrity supplies the arm. The costume was never for the holiday. The costume is for the 400 cameras.
And the costume itself is a love letter, which makes it worse. Not to Halloween. To Tom Kaulitz. A full-size replica of her own left hand, ring and wedding-day tattoo included, delivered via flesh prosthetics and a six-hour prep. "Many hands making this hand," she told E!, which is the most honest sentence a PR operation has produced this quarter.
The guest list is a museum of everyone else's costumes. A Patrick Bateman. A Yzma. The twins from The Shining. A model wearing the late Karl Lagerfeld's actual prescription sunglasses and calling it glamour. Nobody at this party is a guest. Everyone is a prop, and the props are sponsored.
YOUR TURN: Vodka or candy bar. Which sponsor should be embarrassed first?
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