According to 7NEWS, four men in balaclavas, two of them carrying knives, scaled the fence at Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky's Byron Bay estate around 2am Tuesday and walked out with three vehicles, all with the keys still in them, per E!. The cars were recovered over the next two days, Pataky woke up to the dogs, and nobody was hurt.
Byron Bay locals have a name for the place, and it is less a nickname than a job description: Fortress Hemsworth. Four point two hectares, six bedrooms, a media room, a gym, a spa, a 50 meter infinity pool. A fortress. A structure whose entire product pitch is that things do not enter. Four guys in ski masks spent one night disproving the marketing.
The actual crime, the one the police statement can barely be embarrassed to say out loud: the keys were in the cars. All three of them. The heist was about 40 percent done before the first knife came out. You can argue about the fence, you can argue about the garage door. You cannot argue about a Ford Ranger Raptor ute with a key fob in the cup holder at 2am on a Tuesday.
For the record, the only security system on the property that performed to spec was the dogs. That is the entire alarm report. Four masked men scaled a fence and the dogs barked. Somewhere a high end smart home installer is quietly changing the font on his resume.
YOUR TURN: What is your one sentence home security audit question? Ours is: were the keys in the cars?
PAPER TRAIL
- The police statement: 7NEWS
- The three cars, named: E!
- What they stole from, valued: The Independent
- The recovery, the dogs, the CCTV: SMH
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