Brandi Glanville says a doctor is "taking my face off" on Friday for "exploratory surgery" that includes a "power wash" under her skin, according to Page Six. The announcement came on Thursday's episode of her own podcast.
The mechanism is the reveal window. A woman with a face problem and a doctor named Carlo does not quietly walk into surgery. She announces it on her own podcast, mid-sentence, with the words "great news" attached. The procedure is, in her own phrasing, a power wash: knives, a pressure washer, and her blood spun "on the inside of my face." A dermatologist's office is a medical event. A power-washed face on a podcast is content.
The villains rotate, too. In the last two years the face has been blamed on Bravo, a "parasite that jumps around" it, ruptured breast implants, a fungal ball, and now "something alive" that "moves when it wants to." A face with one villain is a diagnosis. A face with five villains is a franchise, and the franchise is doing better than the face.
The math is the copay. Her doctor came "highly recommended" and agreed to perform the procedure for whatever insurance covers, plus $5,000. Insurance covers surgery. It does not cover power washing. Somewhere a claims adjuster with a clipboard is learning that "exploratory" is a marketing verb and the five grand is a sponsorship slot.
The face comes back on camera, or it doesn't, and either way the reveal is already booked. The recovery arc, the before-and-after, the "I'm so brave" interview, and a docu-series by Christmas if the thing under the skin cooperates. If it's alive, at least it has better PR than half the people I cover.
YOUR TURN: Do you book the power wash, or trust your face to sort itself out?
Comments (1)