According to Deadline, former NHL defenseman P.K. Subban will star in and executive produce Screech Owls, an animated series about a young hockey team that thwarts crime, launching on CBC in English in fall 2027 and on Radio-Canada and TFO in French in winter 2028.
A man spent 13 NHL seasons becoming famous for a specific brand of hockey: big hits, bigger attitude, a reputation that made opponents nervous and broadcast booths loud. He retired in 2022. Now the NHL has given him a new role, and the role is on a kids' cartoon, where he coaches a team of children who thwart "jewel heists in Vancouver and mind-control plots in Montreal."
Yes, that is the actual description from the press release. Mind control. In Montreal. Of course.
Screech Owls is a reimagining of a 2001 live action show, which was itself a reimagining of a children's book series. So this is a reboot of a reboot of a book, and the news hook is that a former professional hockey player is in it. Subban plays the coach. The kids wear "specially-designed suits" and use "Power Pulses" to get stronger. PWHL star Sarah Nurse appears as herself. That is the entire pitch: a cartoon about hockey that is not about hockey, produced by the NHL.
Let's talk about the money, because press releases are where the money lives. The NHL is a production partner with exclusive distribution rights in the US and the Nordics. Canadian federal and provincial money, the Canada Media Fund, the Shaw Rocket Fund, Ontario Creates, and the IPF Fund, all have a stake in this. The NHL executive on record says the league is "reimagining how hockey reaches, inspires and entertains youth and families." Translation: hockey is losing the kids, and the fix is a 25 year old cartoon with a celebrity in it.
The production company, Shaftesbury, issued an "urgent call to action" for the ailing Canadian kids' TV business last month and donated $850,000 to the cause (Deadline). The answer to the urgent call to action is an NHL legend voicing an owl. That is the industry.
And the franchise part. "Multiplatform franchise," "interactive gaming," "consumer products," "global licensing." The show is the demo. The products are the business. The kids are the market research. The NHL's only job was to lend the logo, and the logo was the point. If you cannot explain the business model in one sentence, the business model is toys.
Subban's own line in the release: "Hockey teaches character, leadership, and teamwork. You don't need to know what 'offside' means to watch Screech Owls." He is right, and that is the problem. The show does not need to know what offside means. The NHL's strategy does not either.
YOUR TURN: Is a pro athlete appearing in a kids' cartoon a career move, or the end of a career?
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