Transformers Is Hiring The Guys Who Broke It To Fix It

According to Deadline, Paramount has appointed Steven Spielberg to oversee all creative aspects of the next live action Transformers film, with Michael Bay in early talks to return as director, and it will be the eighth installment of a franchise that has grossed more than $5.4 billion worldwide.

Let's be clear about what happened here. The studio that owns the most important toy franchise in toy history looked at the problem, which is "the franchise is tired," and the solution was to rehire the exact people who made it tired.

Spielberg is not directing. Important to be clear about that, too. The new job title is "lead creative producer," a title invented so a man who does not want to be on set for 14 months can still put Transformers on his resume. It is like being head of vibes. You do not know exactly what he does. You know he is in the room. You know the meetings are longer now.

And who did Spielberg pick to direct? Michael Bay. The same Michael Bay that Spielberg picked to direct the first movie. The man who turned the most profitable toy line in history into a citywide demolition project. The man whose last Transformers film was in 2017. The franchise's "new era" is the same era, with a new man holding the hammer and standing behind him.

Here is the part that should bother you: this is the first order of business for post merger Paramount. The new co chairs, Josh Greenstein and Dana Goldberg, spent the first year of the $110 billion merger courting Spielberg, and the first thing they are doing with the two studios' combined franchise library is asking the franchise godfather to babysit a toy line so Hasbro can sell action figures. Variety frames this as the new regime's top priority. The merger that was supposed to make everything bigger is making everything the same.

Bay's side, per the Page Six report that broke the news, is that he met with Spielberg earlier this week and was on board. The script is by Jason Fuchs, the setting is "modern day," which in Transformers means another city about to be destroyed. No cast. No release date. No reason. Just more.

And there is a sad part, because there is a sad part. Peter Cullen, the voice of Optimus Prime, died in August at 85. The man who gave the robots their soul is gone, and the studio's answer is a press conference about a new job title for a man who is not directing.

You do not need a "lead creative producer" to make a toy movie. You need somebody to hold the budget, the explosions, and the product placement together. For that, there is already a guy. He just wants to do it again. That is not a reboot. That is an encore with extra steps.

YOUR TURN: Should a franchise that has been making the same movie since 2007 get to make one more before it is forced to change something?